Life

Change or just nostalgia?

Hello there!!

So, recently, I feel like I’m not really myself.

A lot of little things… This post will be messy, I can tell you that, so be prepared.

For example, when I love something new, I love it too much, like, I get overexcited. And I’m scared it won’t last, or that I’ll mess it up.

On the other side, I feel like not loving the things I use to love as much and not finding myself where I use to.  

But on the other other side (told you it would get messy!), I’m listening to a lot of “old” music, the kind of I should have been (and was) listening a few years ago… Same with movies and TV series. 

So… What the hell is happening? Why? 

Several possibilities I’ve think of: 

  1. I feel lost, so I prefer to get back to my old self, listening to old music, to try to find my old self again.
  2. This feeling of nostalgia is just due to the weather ; it feels like Autumn in here, even it’s still Summer, and Autumn is the season of nostalgia. But in a good way. I love this feeling. It may be it.
  3. This just always have been me and it’s just life happening. I need to get over it. And over myself. I’m being too dramatic. 
  4. I don’t know. I’m open to a few ideas… Do you have any?

– Papergirl

Hello there!! So, recently, I feel like I'm not really myself. A lot of little things... This post will be messy, I can tell you that, so be prepared. For example, when I love something new, I love it too much, like, I get overexcited. And I'm scared it won't last, or that I'll mess… Continue reading Change or just nostalgia?

Life · Thoughts

Missing my friends so badly and wanting to be alone in the same time : contradiction 1.01.

This is so weird.

It’s been a while since I hadn’t spend some time with my best friends or my sister. I miss them so so much! It’s like I’m not full when they’re not here with me. I’d like to have them with me all the time! 

So, logically, I feel alone and lonely. And that’s usually the moment when I think that no one understand me or really know me. And I feel even worth. So I think the best solution is to keep being alone. So that I won’t feel this bad again. But in the same time I will, since I’ll be alone. And I get mad at them for little tiny things, like when I see they live a great moment, “the best of their life”, and I wasn’t even there, and I’m mad at them. I mad that they’re enjoying life without me when I’m here, missing them. But it’s not their fault, I couldn’t be there. I’m not blaming them. I’m blaming me. Or I don’t know. I’m blaming the universe haha

How is it possible to miss someone and be mad for not being here at them in the same time? To want to live with them 24/7 and in the same time to want to have your own little life alone by yourself? Am I weird or do you know I’m talking about?

I think I’m weird.

– PaperGirl

This is so weird. It's been a while since I hadn't spend some time with my best friends or my sister. I miss them so so much! It's like I'm not full when they're not here with me. I'd like to have them with me all the time!  So, logically, I feel alone and lonely.… Continue reading Missing my friends so badly and wanting to be alone in the same time : contradiction 1.01.

Life · Thoughts

Pull me off that pedestal, and listen to me.

Hey guys! It’s been a while right? 

Seemed like I didn’t need you anymore, cause I found a job and a boyfriend and my life seems complete right now. It kind of is, it’s like butterflies and rainbows everyday, but  there’s reality too. And I need advice. 

Why are people always putting me in the first place? Like if I say no, they think I would like to say yes and they change everything to make it happen. But guys, I said no. That is not a sacrifice, it’s just me saying no. Don’t don’t sacrifice yourself in return, cause I didn’t do it in the first place. And I feel bad about it. We all deserve the first place. Stop thinking I deserve the best at your expense. This is not me, and I prefer being me than becoming the idea of me you have on your own. 

I don’t want to be that girl. I don’t want to be that daughter, that friend, that girlfriend. I’m not worth that much effort. I’m not to protect without listening to me, I’m not a porcelain doll. I have my own voice and I prefer you listen to it instead of supposing what I would like. 

“I want you to be happy”, “I wanna do that for you”… Then listen to me. Listen to what I say would make me happy, and what I want you to do for me. I know me better than anyone. This is not a selfish statement. It’s just the truth. And it’s the same for you. So listen to yourself too. 

– PaperGirl

Hey guys! It's been a while right?  Seemed like I didn't need you anymore, cause I found a job and a boyfriend and my life seems complete right now. It kind of is, it's like butterflies and rainbows everyday, but  there's reality too. And I need advice.  Why are people always putting me in the… Continue reading Pull me off that pedestal, and listen to me.

Life · Thoughts

Becoming more positive

Hey there! I don’t have a lot to say, but these days I see a lot of quotes about life and goals and positivity. I just wanted to talk a little about that. 

For a long time, I thought I was a negative person, who would always see the glass half empty, but I’ve realized recently that I’m not. I’m a person who sees the glass half full. And, trust me, it’s wayyyy better! Yesterday, a friend of mine was listening to some of my favorite songs ever, and he told me that they were all using “happy tuning” that usually convey feelings like hope. THIS IS SO ME!!! At least this is who I wanna be. Like : even when the lyrics are sad, it’s like the tuning turns it upside down, and just make me (you?) think positivity, hope, smile, happy feelings.

I want to be a happy person, or at least someone who make other people happy. I’m happy and satisfied with other people’s happiness. It’s simple like this. 

I want to be a good person, and I try to be, every time I think of it. We all make choices everyday, some more little than others, and these choices define us. It could be so simple to be a good person, by simply making the right choices. Can you imagine a world where everyone would do that? No more hate, racism, wars…

Focus, aim, and just do it. It’s not impossible to be who you want to be. It’s harder to  be someone others want, or to change for others, but for yourself? Come on! Be happy with yourself! I’m not asking anyone to change and reinvent their whole self, just, think of some little changes you would like to see in your life, that would make you happier. Think of how YOU can make them happen, and just make them happen! I promise you, little things make happiness! Share it, and here is your secret ingredient for full happiness! 

– PaperGirl

Hey there! I don't have a lot to say, but these days I see a lot of quotes about life and goals and positivity. I just wanted to talk a little about that.  For a long time, I thought I was a negative person, who would always see the glass half empty, but I've realized recently… Continue reading Becoming more positive

Life

I got a job!

Hey everyone! 

So, here’s a little part of my story ; I finished my cinema studies in 2015. I did an internship at Universal Pictures (in Paris) during my studies (in 2014), and I loved it. It was my dream job! After my studies, I found a job for 6 month at the main radio here in Paris (in 2015-16), and I loved it too, even if it wasn’t really my kind of music. It was almost the same tasks that I had at Universal Pictures, so it was almost perfect. And it was still entertainment. I was working in marketing and communication. It was my thing.

So after that, I looked for a job in this area, but I didn’t find anything. 

After a while (almost one year), I faced the fact that I didn’t have the right formation to do what I wanted. So I thought about my life, a LOT, about what else I liked, what I preferred in life and in myself, about what I could use in/for a job. 

My second dream was to work in publishing, but since I hadn’t ANY qualifications, nor any professional contacts, it was obvious I would never get a job in this area. I’m not a warrior. I can’t find my way through this difficult world, talking myself through things like that. Some people can, I can’t. I’m too shy and too honest for that. It’s ridiculous. 

My last idea was to work in a hotel, being a receptionist. Again, I had no formation, but I already had some experience dealing with welcoming clients, and I liked it. I love helping people, making them happy just by being here for them and answer their request. Sounded perfect. And, to be honest, I got inspired by the movie ‘Love, Rosie’. I thought : why not? So I prospected a little, sending some CVs all over Paris, not even hoping a positive answer because, let’s be honest, who would want me when they could have anyone else, with more experience? 

But you know what? The day after I sent those CVs, I got 2 interviews. And 3 others the day after that. 2 of them wanted me. They wanted me for me, for my personality, and not just my formation (since I have none). So I choose my favorite one, and today was my first day, and it went well =) The whole team is really nice, and I think I’ll like the job! Really. It suits me, in a way. 

So, why am I telling you all about my life, you’d think? Just to tell you that, yes, it’s really hard nowadays to find a job. And maybe you won’t find something that you like. But you are human. You can find something new, redefine yourself, change your mind, try something new. Never give up. “The only limit is the one you set yourself“. Okay, maybe you also need to be realistic, and okay, I will stop with the cliché sentences. But you really do have more options than you think! Just be sure your choices make you happy. The most important thing is to make yourself happy. There isn’t little or poor jobs. Yes, I’m payed with the more little salary possible, but at least I’m payed for something I like!

And when I think about it, I’m not sure I would have love working in communication. This is so much more human. And I love humans. I love feelings. I love life. 

– PaperGirl

Hey everyone!  So, here's a little part of my story ; I finished my cinema studies in 2015. I did an internship at Universal Pictures (in Paris) during my studies (in 2014), and I loved it. It was my dream job! After my studies, I found a job for 6 month at the main radio here… Continue reading I got a job!

Life

Friendships and being yourself

Is this really friendship if you’re not completely yourself?

This is so weird how friendships can change. No, not change really. Evolve. 

When I was young, I had a best friend who knew me so well and with whom I could do and say anything and just be myself. Basically, the very definition of a best friend.

Now, this friend still is dear to me, but time drove us away, and even if I still spend time with her and love her, it’s not the same. She doesn’t get me the way she did. And I guess I don’t really get her either. I can’t be fully myself around her, and even worse, I don’t dare to be, because I’m afraid of being judged by her. 

I tried to keep it the way it was, but I couldn’t. For a time I wasn’t okay with that, and I felt bad about it. Like it was my fault. But it wasn’t. It’s just the way it is sometimes. So, then, I accepted it. And now I feel better, even if it’s still hard because I feel like I’m keeping a part of me to myself when I’m with her. And I feel like I’m not being honest with her. But she doesn’t get some part of me and I prefer being occasionally less me with her, than being full me without her. 

It’s hard to realize that, and it hurts. Almost physically. But that’s life, right? We grow apart and make new friends and new adventures and life continues. 

I also have other friends, two of them being the bests, and I have my sister. They are my true best friends, for a long time now, and I love them so so much. They are part of me. They know me so well, sometimes better than myself, and they forgive my craziness and they love me back just for who I am. This is awesome and I can’t thank them enough for this. 

Sometimes it’s okay to let go, if this is for the right reasons. You have to prioritise your choices and accept change. But the most important: never lose sight of what YOU are and what YOU want. You are the main character of your life. Be yourself and people will love you for you. 

-PaperGirl

Is this really friendship if you're not completely yourself? This is so weird how friendships can change. No, not change really. Evolve.  When I was young, I had a best friend who knew me so well and with whom I could do and say anything and just be myself. Basically, the very definition of a… Continue reading Friendships and being yourself

Life · Thoughts

Where have you been Hope?

Sometimes Hope just crawl (back?) into your life unexpectedly.

It can be a simple quote that makes you realize that you can do whatever the hell you want, that some things are built on hope, that life is worth living fully.

It can be a friend reaching out for help or advice, and the simple fact to be here for this person is enough for her/him to get better. 

It can be someone you wouldn’t have expected coming to talk to you one day, and soon you find yourself waiting for it every day with a stupid smile on your face. 

It can be a simple ray of sunshine piercing through darkness to get your attention. 

It can be the perspective of a few days away from the city, just to enjoy being alive, a good book in your hand, great friends by your side, the beginning of spring calling you to move on. 

Let’s hope together…

– PaperGirl

Sometimes Hope just crawl (back?) into your life unexpectedly. It can be a simple quote that makes you realize that you can do whatever the hell you want, that some things are built on hope, that life is worth living fully. It can be a friend reaching out for help or advice, and the simple… Continue reading Where have you been Hope?