Life · Thoughts

Time and Life – The oldest drama of all –

Hey guys, me again. Long time no see, right? Talking about time, let’s get into it right away. I feel like every time I feel a bit lost in myself or in my life, I come here to just…talk. No judgement, no answer actually, just me and…well…myself, I guess. Anyway.

Time. And Life. 

Time is always is issue. I mean, on one hand, it is the most fascinating thing ever, like, how is it possible for Time to go on and on like this? and for Life to just… happen…in/with time? But this is not the issue here, because this is a debate for another day. Another life even, because there’s to much to say. So. I was saying. On the other hand, Time is…the greatest bitch ever!

I don’t have time to do the things I want to do. Or to be me. The me I wanna be. The me I try to be. This is hard enough on itself, I don’t need Time to come messing with me on this. Or maybe the problem is that I can’t find time? Because everyone around me seem to find time for themselves. So it seems to be here. I might just to be able to size it? Maybe I should be more self-centered? Maybe I should get more time for myself and not sharing my precious Time with all my loved ones? But I do love my time with and for other. This is me. Making them got first, this is me. So, yeah, again, I’m facing an odd dilemma. Probably as odd and old as Time itself. 

And again, I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining, but guys, let’s be honest, I majored in complaining! 

So, Time and me. Right now. When I can get a bit of time in my life, I run for sharing it with my friends and loved ones. But whenever they got time, then don’t run to me. They actually enjoy it. So the fact is, I don’t have any time for me, and they all have time for themselves. I could get more time for me, but since they won’t come to me, I don’t want to lose my time with them if I don’t push on my side to share time with them. And missing my me-time feels like missing myself, in a way. Like, for example, I’m a writer (or at least a wannabe writer, when I got…well, time to be one, ha), but I haven’t write anything for 6 months. This is a sleeping part of me right now, so I’m not really fully myself right now. 

And same problem ; I spent too much time doing anything else than R-E-S-T. And God how Humans need to rest to be at their best. I’m tired and I’m a nervous wreck, but every time I get a chance, I do a lot of things instead of anything for me (rest, read, write, OR just breath…). And I kind of start feel that it interferes with my relationships and my work. So what, I need a break? Vacations? Yeah, but doesn’t anyone need it for various reason? Argh. Why I am always feeling pity for myself?

I haven’t reread any of this, I’m just externalizing my thoughts as they come. And you know what? I’m actually writing! Ha! This is not what I meant by me as a wannabe writer, but it is part of it in a way. And it feels good anyway. So I should just let myself enjoy a little me-time for now and then. I know. It could get better real soon. Right?

– PaperGirl

Hey guys, me again. Long time no see, right? Talking about time, let's get into it right away. I feel like every time I feel a bit lost in myself or in my life, I come here to just...talk. No judgement, no answer actually, just me and...well...myself, I guess. Anyway. Time. And Life.  Time is always… Continue reading Time and Life – The oldest drama of all –

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Life · Thoughts

Counting seconds passing by –

Yesterday it was my birthday, and everyone was so great to me!!! Really, thank you and I love you!!! Between my perfect sister, my awesome friends and fam, and even my colleagues, it was great! And I didn’t even had a party cause I was working at night. So my life is good right now. 

But in the same time, my granda is really really sick, I don’t have a room anymore because I need to give it to him right now (which I’m 100% okay with of course, but god I need my space!), I can’t go to my new apartment cause it’s just totally empty, one of by best colleague is leaving suddenly and one of my best friend is about to go away for 3 month and I don’t know how I’ll deal with it (I won’t). I need my space and I need my people and without all this…I’m just losing my mind! I feel trapped and stuck and I can’t sleep so I’m really tired! And I know that I’m not the best people to blame and I know it’s gonna get worst and worst, but shit, I have a right to feel how I feel, and this song is exactly how I feel right now! 

 

-PaperGirl 

Yesterday it was my birthday, and everyone was so great to me!!! Really, thank you and I love you!!! Between my perfect sister, my awesome friends and fam, and even my colleagues, it was great! And I didn't even had a party cause I was working at night. So my life is good right now. … Continue reading Counting seconds passing by –

Life · Thoughts

Freaking out (in a bad way when you thought it would be in a good one) – wtf?!

Hey there!!!

I hope everyone is alright 🙂

Iknow, it’s been a while. But I was okay with everything in my life and didn’t feel the need to share. Everything is still okay, and you’ll think I’m a spoiled girl who’s freaking out over nothing. And you won’t be wrong. Because I am. My big dilemma is that I’m about to move out from my parents to my own apartment, moving in with one of my best friend as roommate! Perfect deal right? SO WHY AM I FREAKING OUT????

I think I’m just scared because it’s a big step. A step I wanna take for a long time time, and now it’s happening I don’t really know why I’m not as comfortable with it as I thought. Let’s be honest, my favorite thing in the world is my comfort zone. So now that I’m about to lose it (or at least change it), of course it’s all new and a lot of new questions are overwhelming me right now and I’m afraid and I know it’s okay but I hate that feeling and it scares me even more. And I know everything will be fine cause I’m moving with my bestie and I still have my family as back up and I have just enough money to be okay, I know all that but STILL!!!! I’m just afraid. I didn’t think so, so I’m afraid even more. But I know it will be fine. Anyway, I don’t know if all these makes any sense but I think it does. Does it?

Please come in comment if you want to, you’ll be more than welcome ♥

-PaperGirl

Hey there!!! I hope everyone is alright 🙂 Iknow, it's been a while. But I was okay with everything in my life and didn't feel the need to share. Everything is still okay, and you'll think I'm a spoiled girl who's freaking out over nothing. And you won't be wrong. Because I am. My big… Continue reading Freaking out (in a bad way when you thought it would be in a good one) – wtf?!

Life · Music · Quotes

Philosophy of a loser – Glee style

So, recently, I’ve started over the whole series of GLEE, and I’m enjoying it sooooo much!! Even better than the first time. I feel it. And I love it! It’s just awesome! 

This song sums up the whole series, I think, and my whole life.

Pay attention to the lyrics, and please, please, think about it! If you’re on the side of the one singing it, know that you’re not alone, and we are kings and queens of the world as much as any other people. And if you think I’m ridiculous and I’m a loser, well, Baby I don’t care 😉

– PaperGirl

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y39IBVhknmE So, recently, I've started over the whole series of GLEE, and I'm enjoying it sooooo much!! Even better than the first time. I feel it. And I love it! It's just awesome!  This song sums up the whole series, I think, and my whole life. Pay attention to the lyrics, and please, please, think… Continue reading Philosophy of a loser – Glee style

Life

Pure dynamic

Have you ever met someone so awesome that you are just happy to simply know this person?  Even more when you share real things with this person. 

And you want to be more like this person, and you take all this person give you (as selfish as it can sound), and you want to give it all to this person too. Just because this person deserves it. And life just seems more easy. 

It is like finding a part of yourself you didn’t even know excited. But it is you. And you feel kind of more complete. And you know that because you feel kind of empty when you’re not with this person. 

I’m not talking about love at first sight or anything romantic. Because every person who has this effect on me are nothing like that. But they are my best friends. And it is so strong. It just feels right. Like you can be yourself a 100%, and you feel no shame because you are accepted and you accept this person too.

Just loving another human being…for his awesomeness… 

Some people are just beautiful. And I’m talking about their souls, not only their pretty faces.

I’m really lucky to know some people like that. They are parts of me, and I’m not full without them around. 

Try it sometimes.

It can set you free. 

– PaperGirl

Have you ever met someone so awesome that you are just happy to simply know this person?  Even more when you share real things with this person.  And you want to be more like this person, and you take all this person give you (as selfish as it can sound), and you want to give… Continue reading Pure dynamic

Life · Thoughts

Feeling lost in the big world and the big plans

These days I wanna do a LOT of things.Like big things, travels, take a time off the world I know everyday and be crazy, and I want it so hard that it hurts when I realize it’s not possible right now.

You know…when you want to dream big but you can’t. Or that feeling that you’re not doing everything you can to enjoy life as hard as you could, and you missing it, and, again, you can’t do anything about it? This is kind of exactly that. These are the feelings I have these past few days. Like everything I wanna do I can’t, and that I’m missing it. I’m missing all of it. And as if every little decision I take make me doubt. About my life in general. About the future, and missing it. 

I need to calm down. I’m sure I’m overreacting, again. 

I also think that I may be trying to become someone I’m not. But I want to be this person, this new me. It’s hard and I feel torn apart. And I can’t manage to just let me fly with the wind. With life. I wanna overcome and control everything. I should not. 

I guess I kind of just feel lost. And I think I should just let go and be. Simply be. 

– PaperGirl 

These days I wanna do a LOT of things.Like big things, travels, take a time off the world I know everyday and be crazy, and I want it so hard that it hurts when I realize it's not possible right now. You know...when you want to dream big but you can't. Or that feeling that you're… Continue reading Feeling lost in the big world and the big plans