Life · Thoughts

Missing my friends so badly and wanting to be alone in the same time : contradiction 1.01.

This is so weird.

It’s been a while since I hadn’t spend some time with my best friends or my sister. I miss them so so much! It’s like I’m not full when they’re not here with me. I’d like to have them with me all the time! 

So, logically, I feel alone and lonely. And that’s usually the moment when I think that no one understand me or really know me. And I feel even worth. So I think the best solution is to keep being alone. So that I won’t feel this bad again. But in the same time I will, since I’ll be alone. And I get mad at them for little tiny things, like when I see they live a great moment, “the best of their life”, and I wasn’t even there, and I’m mad at them. I mad that they’re enjoying life without me when I’m here, missing them. But it’s not their fault, I couldn’t be there. I’m not blaming them. I’m blaming me. Or I don’t know. I’m blaming the universe haha

How is it possible to miss someone and be mad for not being here at them in the same time? To want to live with them 24/7 and in the same time to want to have your own little life alone by yourself? Am I weird or do you know I’m talking about?

I think I’m weird.

– PaperGirl

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