Thoughts

Little choices and repercussions

I’m tired of justify myself! You all do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whoever you want, without consulting me. I’m okay with it. I’ve come to term with it. It is life. Fine. But then, I shouldn’t have to answer to anyone either! 

Why is it that when I decide to do something for me, it’s never the right things? There are always repercussions. Even for the little decisions. Tiny ones. Do I make bad choices? Am I a bad person? Do you ask yourself that, you people whom I’m angry at? Then why should I? Why do you make me asking myself that? I’m not a bad person. OKAY?? I have a temper and I say what I think. And I’m tired of letting people get what they want to my expense. I’m an invisible one! I don’t get how…why…this happens. I can’t always be the one who put everyone else first! I do my best to do it anyway, and to not put myself first, but sometimes, it’s vital! We HAVE to consider ourselves! I don’t want to be silent all my life! I need some things for me! Just little tiny things. I don’t ask you to do anything for me anymore, because when I did, I was disappointed. Isn’t it enough? Can’t you just leave me alone if I leave you alone? I don’t know what you want from me. 

And, people? The quiet ones? Why don’t you speak up? Why don’t everyone say things when it’s needed? Say what you think, interfere when needed! It would be so much simple if we all speak up and explain and listen and understand and consider. 

How can it be that I can feel like the most loved person, and a few second after that, I feel like I’m all alone in this world and that I can only rely on myself? Oh, right, because life make us believe in the first one, but really, the second part is the truth. 

Arhhh I hate this feeling!! GO AWAY FEELING! I don’t want you! 

– PaperGirl

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